Tay Tay reportedly breaks up with the 18-year-old dream boat and flees the island. Coincidence? I think not.
Look mate, I know you think it's edgy and rebellious but your tattoos look more like a random array of scribbles from a school girl's diary. No wonder Taylor bounced.
Your surname is Styles and I think you need to honour that. Your body is not a wall for scribbling on. I predict a lot of painful laser sessions in years to come (surely that love heart on your shoulder has got to go first?). I'm sorry I sound like your mother. FYI, I am only 24 - totally in your dating range. Your cut-offs late '30s, right?
Anyway Haz, if you want a bad boy hobbie go smoke a joint with Justin Bieber and Lil Twist. Babes love bongs! KIDDING, if you want street cred, just go party with Leo.