Sunday, October 16, 2011

3 Weird Things That Happened on an Un-Weird Friday Night*

1. I met my favourite writer/ girl crush / all round hero Marieke Hardy. I died a thousand deaths as I spotted her at the Oh Mercy gig, being all effortlessly hip and cool in the corner. After lots of squeals, Tiff held my hand like a nervous toddler and I walked up and had my shameless fan girl moment. And I'm glad I did because I'd regret it for the rest of my life. THANK GOD I had Tiff, she was the ultimate wing women and steered the whole conversation. I could barely string a sentence together and kept thinking, 'say something hilarious.' But nothing very awesome came out of my mouth. Bless Marieke's vintage socks, she spoke to us for a good 15 minutes and I'm even more in love after meeting her IRL. It was like having an out of body experience, oh yeah just chatting to THE Marieke Hardy. No biggy. BUT IT WAS A MASSIVE BIGGY. IT WAS THE BIGGEST FUCKING BIGGY OF MAH LIFE!


2. A lovely fellow on the d-floor decided he would be all chivalrous and charming and make it his business to blatantly grope my bosom without any forewarning or permission. Shocked, appalled and down right furious I groped him right back. I even twisted his nipple #romanceissonotdead! He must have gotten his sexual harassment moves confused with his flirting ones. 


3. Another gentleman, in the same rapey cesspool, sported a very interesting accessory - his family jewels blatantly poking through his fly, just chilling, for all to see. He was bumpin' and grindin' against unsuspecting girls who didn't realise they were getting junk-bombed. I'm pretty sure he was buddies with Mr Molester, so when he came up to bump and grind our circle I did what any respectable lady would do - I karate kicked him in the nuts. 


* I know this is horrific grammar, but please let me get away with it just this once? Otherwise the angle of this blog has no leg to stand on.


3 comments:

  1. hahahahaha junk-bombed.

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  2. It's been a while since you've posted Bella, hoping the blogging game hasn't got you down

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've been a very bad blogger of late - so sorry! Nope, hasn't at all. The full time job thing has kinda been taking precedence but don't you worry I have lots of treats in store.

    ReplyDelete

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