2. A lovely fellow on the d-floor decided he would be all chivalrous and charming and make it his business to blatantly grope my bosom without any forewarning or permission. Shocked, appalled and down right furious I groped him right back. I even twisted his nipple #romanceissonotdead! He must have gotten his sexual harassment moves confused with his flirting ones.
3. Another gentleman, in the same rapey cesspool, sported a very interesting accessory - his family jewels blatantly poking through his fly, just chilling, for all to see. He was bumpin' and grindin' against unsuspecting girls who didn't realise they were getting junk-bombed. I'm pretty sure he was buddies with Mr Molester, so when he came up to bump and grind our circle I did what any respectable lady would do - I karate kicked him in the nuts.
* I know this is horrific grammar, but please let me get away with it just this once? Otherwise the angle of this blog has no leg to stand on.