Monday, August 15, 2011

Things I've Learnt from Splendour

In keeping with tradition, here are the (belated) lessons learnt from our epic Splendour adventure ...

  • Wear a llama poncho, or any animal related get up (i.e. a donkey / monkey jumpsuit). It will make you the coolest kid in school. 
  • Whoever coined the phrase 'dancing your pants off' is wrong. It should be updated to 'dancing your bra off' or 'dancing so hard, your bra strap snaps,' because this actually happened to me. 
  • Double dumping Panadol before, during and after each day will become a normal part of life and is a sure fire way to decrease your hangovers. Also, being organised and pre-stocking the fridge with Poweraid works wonders. 
  • The best way to sleep in the car is to create a human centipede and lean against your neighbour. Just make sure no one takes a photo while you're getting your centipede on, it won't be pretty.
  • Don't panic when you wake up in the middle of the night and forget where you are. Furthermore do not run out of the room, slam the door and have a panic attack because you think you're sleeping next to a serial killer like I did. Chinny is the furthest thing from a murderer (see above, re affinity for fluffy animals). 
  • Seeing Kele Okereke will just make you wish you were watching Bloc Party, you'll find yourself screaming 'play your old shit,' quite a lot. 
  • If you need to borrow any kind of animal paraphernalia (i.e. bunny slippers, polar bear spirit hat, monkey jumpsuit etc) Nicki Chin is your go-to-girl. This woman packed as many clothes as me and this is why we are kindred spirits. We need options, people!
  • Fruit loops are best enjoyed in a wine glass.
  • James Blake is God and I would happily have his babies. He ended every song in his irresistible British accent saying, 'thank you ever so much.' No James Blake, thank YOU ever so much for making manners sexy.
  • Yelle can well and truly rock a onesie. 
  • Cut Copy are still amazing. In fact, I think I fall a little more in love with them every time I see them. 
  • Festival fashion never ceases to amaze. It seemed butt cheeks were the theme of 2011, with hundreds of chicks sporting this trend. 
  • Sometimes your life can end up like an episode of Neighbours. Just grin and bear it.  
  • Voddy hip flasks should not be pulled out and swigged in front of security guards. They will be confiscated. Rookie error. Whoops.
  • After spending excessive amount of time with Chinny and myself, you will end up speaking like a LOLcat so just don't fight it, ok Penny?
  • Someone would make a small fortune selling cushions on the hill at the amphitheatre. Never have I heard more people complain of a sore derrieres from the harsh terrain.
  • The best way to walk back to the car at the end of the day is 5 abreast, arm in arm pretending to be transformers. Group Love robocops, GO!
  •  Acrostic poems are NOT the way to win diorama competitions, nor are bubbles. Who da thunk it? Apparently the way to peoples' hearts is through the medium of sponge cake. I found this out the hard way.  
  • Whenever Penny and I are together we miss flights. We were 6 measly minutes late for check in and the dickheads at Jetstar wouldn't let us on the flight, even though it still didn't leave for another 25 minutes, we had carry on luggage and the gate was literally around the corner. When you are that exhausted you will hand over any amount of money to get home. $390 for the next flight out was the best dosh I've ever spent. 
  • Maccas for breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday will result in an intense desire for crazy amounts of fruit and vegetables upon your arrival home. Foranges (frozen oranges) are an easy way to fun-up your vitamin C intake, just add freezer. 
  • After three days of dust, alcamahol and shouting 'YIIIIEEEEWWWW'* at the top of your lungs, you will acquire the Splendour black Lung and feel so ill, you consider paying your little brother to carry you around the house as even walking hurts.
  • When in doubt, just ask yourself what would Yeezy do? 

I'd love to hear what you learnt from Splendour? Any wise words of wisdom to share with the team?

* The 'yiiiiiiiiiiiiiewwwwwwing' started as a joke, paying out those who yiew at everything but eventually we became the people we hated and yiewed at the drop of the hat. 

A standard Splendour meal.
My post-Splendour foodz.
Life is better in a onesie. Fact.

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