- How to open the child proof lid on the Listerine bottle.
- Don't walk and read MX on the way to your platform. You will crash into angry commuters. Nay, don't read MX.
- How to reverse park.
- There's no point having a flash phone, you will only break it. $40 Nokias are preferable. Not the best way to earn street cred, but whatevs, at least I can play Snake 2.
- Don't wear your new suede booties to house parties. Furthermore, don't wear your new suede booties when dancing outside in the garden. Otherwise they'll end up like this.
|Thank God for magical shoe cleaners! These babies have been rescued from their trauma.|