Monday, March 7, 2011

If only....

  • If only someone could make all those scary ‘big kid’ decisions for you.
  • If only you could pre-order your dream boy online and he was delivered in a neat little parcel on your doorstep, just like a Topshop package. I'll take brains, wit and an undeniable sense of style, please. Bill my visa. 
  • If only millionaire models didn't feel the need to walk the runway just weeks after giving birth. Ahem, Miranda and Heidi, I'm looking at you. It's not like you need the money. Can't you give us a mere mortals a break? 
  • If only my tummy didn’t growl at inappropriate moments. Like in a silent lift. Awks ma-gorks.
  • If only you could look into the future and see the alternative endings to your life and then you'd know which choice was the right one to make. 
  • If only you didn't bump into the boy you think is cute while you're rummaging, head first through a garbage bin,* dropping your phone on the floor or other moments of general unco-ness. Why can't I be doing something super awesome and cool, like hanging out with a bunch of male models or something? Cause I do that all the time.   
  • If only there could be a permanent ban on putting Jennifer Aniston on all future magazine covers. Or if only that wasn't the kind of celeb that generated sales.  

* In my defence, it was a paper bin and I can assure you there was no bin juice. I was simply doing the right thing and recycling a cardboard box. It was just extremely large so I had to shove it in. When I saw Mr Cute, I panicked and said, "hey, fancy seeing you here, I'm just hanging out in my bin!" I know, I'm a catch!

Not exactly the look I was going for...


5 comments:

  1. Haha would have loved to have seen you in the bin. you're a funny one.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't worry you are much cuter than oscar the grouch.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's a TC Mr. Anonymous-above-me, a TC.

    Also, would you really want to see the alternate endings to your life? Couldn't you just make the most of now?

    I also don't see how being surrounded by male models will help you get boys :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. TC?

    Haha, i clearly don't hang out with male models I'm a Spy - please note the sarcasm!

    When you have to make a choice and you have two offers in front of you but you can only pick one, you do wish you could see where each one will take you. I know I'm being cryptic, but seeing the alternative endings would have been a god-send the other week. I suck at making choices.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I got your sarcasm, fret not as I was poking fun. My entire comment was poking fun, see I even ended it in ":P"

    You suck at making choices too? Well look at that, we share something in common!

    PS: TC = Tough Call.

    ReplyDelete

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