After watching a few too many reality TV shows (aka, brain cell destroying teeve) while on holidays, it got me thinking about how easy it is to be a 'celebrity'. It's my guilty pleasure but I feel dirty when I watch Channel E! for too long. I over dosed on E! in Bali, the only antidote was the newspaper, bought for an obscene amount of money from a street vendor. I needed to cleanse my brain from all the useless facts I'd learnt about Matt Damon, Matthew McConaughey and Cameron Diaz.
So kiddos, what's the secret C list celeb formula? Read on! You know you're a C list celeb When...
- You have a reality TV shown on E! complete with your own quirky catch phrases (that was probably work shopped for hours by the show's producers). Rachel Zoe's are "bananas, shut the front door and I DIE!" Audiences gobble that shit up.
- You have a putrid smelling fragrance, that you like, totally created.
- You have your own clothing line too, because you really like fashion and stuff and it's not that hard to be a designer.
- You have your own book as well. Even though you've only ever read two in your life, (hello Snooki) who says you can't be an author?
- You pose on the cover of gossip mags in your bikini, boasting of your svelte post-baby body.
- You're a product endorsement whore bag. Pimping yourself out to any brand that will use your botoxed face to promote their magical, anti-ageing vitamins.