Hey you, why so glum? Oh because it's Valentine's Day tomorrow? Pffft, Shmalentine's Day! Whatevs man, it's just another made up event for boyfriends to feel inadequate, fools to buy tacky paraphernalia, restaurants to hike up prices and advertisers to cash in. I like to look at V. Day as a celebration of my freedom. Your happiness shouldn't be defined by your relationship status.
Your twenties are the prime of your life. Let's face it when are we going to get away with such a hedonistic lifestyle ever again? Hello dancing till 4am, sleeping Sundays away, festivals and travelling on a whim. I'm not hating on relationships, I've been there, done that and while having a permanent snuggle buddy is awesome, going out and doing whatever the hell you want is pretty fab too!
I'm not anti-relationships but I'm not going to settle for mediocre either. I would rather be single, than be in a sub-par, blah relationship. I want WOW. I want BIG LOVE. I want BUTTERFLIES. I’m all for real love Regina Spektor style, granted it’s with the right boy. Of course I want to fall in love it's basic human instinct, there is nothing quite like it but I'm not going to wait around for Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet. I've got bigger fish to fry. Granted, I don't eat fish, I just like cooking them.
Until the fate gods shine down on me, I am single and oh so ready to mingle! So here are my top ten reasons why it's freaking fabulous to be single!
1. FLIRT LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS: My God it's fun to flirt! I actually think I could put "professional flirter" down as a skill on my resume. It's one of my favourite past times. Yes, you can flirt when you're in a relationship but there's a hazy line of what's appropriate. When you're single you can flirt your pantzz off. Literally! One chum says she loves the guilt free flirting her singledom allows her, "I love having eye sex at traffic lights with someone across the road when you are waiting to cross without feeling guilty."
2. DATE YOUR ARSE OFF: Sure, you may feel like you want to spew before you meet them or you'd rather swim with sharks than go through the nerve wracking trauma of a date but once those initial clunky moments are over, it's fun. People would kill to relive those first few butterfly ridden dates. Lap it up and savour every moment. As for the bad dates? Well, they just make for great writing material (don't worry, I don't name names).
3. Your heart's in one piece: No one warns you how much it hurts to have your heart broken, and it hurts like a mo-fo! Once you've picked up all the shattered pieces and glued them back it's nice to feel happy and whole again and unlike Humpty Dumpty, you can be put back together!
4. The thrill of the chase: I love a bit of hard to get and some fun text banter. Unobtainable is hot, so let the games begin!
5. You can do what you waaaaant! If you want to move to Rio and rumba, then you move to Rio and rumba. Knit, fish, bite your nails, pick your nose, embrace your bad habits! A friend says the best part about being single is, “being able to pick at ingrowns on my bikini line whenever I want!" That's ma girl!
6. Just cause you're single doesn't mean you're not getting laid. Enough said.
7. Your own social identity: No "we", just "me". YOUR very own buddies, all for yourself! Nom nom nom, gobble them up they're all yours. You don't have to share and you don't have to divvy them up like you do in a break up. It sucks having to lose friends because they "belong" to your ex.
8. Less to juggle: I struggle balancing seeing my nearest and dearest with full time work. Try as you might, you can never make everyone happy. Add in a full time boyfriend and it gets that much harder. I understand both sides, I know how exciting it is to be in that new love bubble just as long as you come out of said bubble and remember your buddies, and I know how much it hurts when friends neglect their friendships for their new squeeze.
9. Miss Independent: It sickens me to think how co-dependant I used to be. A boyfriend shouldn't be used as a vessel for car rides, tax returns and other math related queries. There is no thrill quite like doing your own tax return. Oh yeah baby, just speaking tax talk turns me on. I do my own tax return and it feels good!
10. Get to know yourself again: Becoming "we" your identity gets tangled in another person. It can be intoxicatingly great in the beginning but can get fucked up being one entity. A girlfriend says, "as cheesy as it sounds, I still have so much to learn about myself. I don't think I could necessarily do that being tied up to another person." I remember just before my first ever big break up my boyfriend remarked how much I had changed. "What happened to that crazy girl? You hardly ever laugh anymore." Or something along those lines. In retrospect, I wholeheartedly agree. That crazy girl fell in love too young and forgot the simple ethics of your twenties - don't worry about what other people think, have fun and go get 'em! I am nowhere near achieving what I want but in the past two years of being single and just being ME, I feel a whole lot closer. And don't worry, that crazy girl is back, more nutso than ever.
So this Valentine's Day, instead of feeling like a piece of poo for being single, remember all the freedom it brings. If you're lonely, I'll give you a hug. I say, go forth and conquer single ones! Reach for the stars, kiss some babes on the way and HAVE FUN!