Sunday, October 31, 2010

Weekend Highlights

  • Seeing my Mumma walk! What broken leg?
  • Sibling play date to da mooovies
  • Dressing up as idiots for Halloween. 
  • Remembering how much fun house parties are. 
  • Falling asleep in the cab home, waking up amid panic attack screaming "WHERE'S ROB?" Only to see he was right next to me. Hilarious.
  • Attempting to wear Vegemite toast as a dress, apparently. 
  • Using a school backpack as a handbag. So roomy, so funny, so good for storing alcohol! 
  • Sunday snuggles with two super cuddly peeps. 

A gory Ginger Megs with two nerdy school girls. Happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 30, 2010


Phone rings..
ME: Madison, Bella speaking.
MAYA: Hi Bella speaking, it's actually Maya Sebastian speaking.
ME: Hahaha, what the hell?
MAYA: I still don't have your mobile number but I got your work number from your business card. I'm busking at Town Hall today, want to have lunch?
ME: You're hilarious! I'd love to. Meet outside my work at 12.30?
MAYA: Hmm I'm not sure where that is. Actually, it says right here on your card! See you soon.

I meet her downstairs in the lobby, and there she is. Her perfect quirky self, carrying a massive trombone on her back, that's pretty much bigger than her and looks like a body bag. We head to lunch and talk about blogging, busking, writing and her recent travels to Canada. There we are, two little bloggers, sipping happily on their laksas. The convo then turns to my work.

MAYA: What's it like? It looks like the Devil Wears Prada.
ME: It's really not, it's honestly just like a normal office but with very good fashion sense. Do you want me to take you for a little tour?
MAYA: Yes please!
ME: Cool, if anyone asks, just say you're here for a photo shoot with your trombone.

We excitedly hurry back to Park St, I check her in as my guest and take her for a quick tour. I take her to Cleo, to meet Shan Dog and then a quick loop de loop through all the other mags. In high school, Maya once smuggled her best friend in for the day, in the guise as an exchange student. And then, Maya went to her best friend's school, as a German exchange student, even though she didn't speak a word of German. I can't remember exactly, but one of them got caught. Luckily when I brought Maya in, trombone and all, we didn't get in trouble.

MAYA: I'll have to bring you to my office next time, you can watch me busk. You have to be careful of all the hobos though.
ME: Just say you work in an open plan office. It's unconventional and ever changing because you're a performance artist.

If you'd like to take Maya to work, she can be contacted through her blog here.
Sorry Maya I couldn't find a picture of you playing the trombone, hope the sax is ok. 

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

77 on a Saturday

Hope you enjoy this retro read, I found this piece among some old uni work.

The entrance could be missed if it wasn't for the guy in the leopard print leotard and thigh high leather boots proudly holding the guest list, as if it was some sort of expensive accessory.

Don't come wearing your preppiest shirt or your shiniest shoes, you won't be let in. I love the fact the door bitches turn people away who are dressed too smartly. It's the opposite of all those wanky, pretentious Sydney clubs. Collared shirts die, costumes, freaks and cross-dressing thrives. The more outrageous the better. As you walk down the stairs the smell of stale beer hits you. Muted projections of Absolutely Fabulous are projected onto the walls. it's a dark dingy basement on  steroids.

Welcome to Club 77 on William Street. Where every Saturday night you can dance with bearded men in sparkly, figure hugging dresses, listen to Kylie Minogue one minute then Bag Raiders the next. Where the star DJ Hookie lives up to his nickname - with metal hooks for hands as a result from a serious battle with Meningococcal. Yes, I know what you're thinking. How can a dude with hooks as hands be a good DJ? He is not deterred by this, rather embraces it wholeheartedly and is one of the best DJs in Sydney.

As the rest of the city falls asleep on Sunday morning you can be sure that 77 will still be wide awake and sporting the most impressive hang over.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Reason #897 why JB makes me laugh:

ME: What are you doing the next few weekends?

JAMES: My friend's having a party soon and the theme is Gossip Girl.

ME: Cool! Can I please style you? I'm thinking slicked back hair, blazer, bow-tie, white fitted shirt... Very New York chic.

JAMES: No freaking way. I'm just going to wear normal clothes and then stick a sign on my t-shirt that says "douche".

I blame the funny window for making me shop....

The front window of Incu, in the Galeries Victoria, gives Penguin Books a run for its money. A cheeky jab to all those people who've jumped on the Penguin Classic bandwagon and read them not because they enjoy them or have the slightest interest in literature, but because it adds instant credibility and intelligence.

Possum Magic

INGA: What the hell is that coming out of your wall? Is it a horn or something?

ME: Oh no, don't worry it's just part of the possum's nest - I have a little family living in my wall. They're very easy roomies to live with, I just sleep with a pillow on my head so I don't hear them.


ME: James do you feed the tadpoles everyday? Because I don't.

JAMES: Errr, no. Uh oh.

DAD: Don't worry, I do. That's what always happens with pets, Dad's end up looking after them.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Life Skillz

Max (feline, not human) was so kind to drag in a dead rat last weekend. I'm sure he had the best intentions at heart, it was probably a present to show how much he loved us. James was the only one home and did a brilliant job on damage control, calmly tending to said rat and disposing of the mess. 

It's very lucky we have a teacher in the family to remind us of our good deeds. This isn't the first merit certificate to appear on our fridge from Ed. 

Monday, October 18, 2010

A Treat for your Ears - Summer Playlist

  • Grow, Delorean: Thanks to Inga for introducing me to this way back when we were in Euro. It's very Cut Copyesque. Perfect for summer trips on land and sea.
  • Sunlight, Bag Raiders: Cocktail by the pool anyone? Yes please. This song is oh so summery. Bring on the sunlight! 
  • Holidays, Miami Horror: This will definitely be getting me through the home stretch to holidays! Happy, fun stuff. 
Remember - listen responsibly. Get high quality versions of these songs to keep forever, with itunes.

Monday Night Treats

The new issue of Frankie will be hitting my letter box this week, hoorah! It made me realise I'm so time poor, I haven't even had a chance to go back and finish a few articles I've been meaning to read from the current issue. Eeep! Better finish it, before the next one comes!

And I'm just dying to read the Harper's feature on Kelsey and Amanda.

Happy Monday, and happy reading everyone!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

School Holiday-lag

Definition: The equivalent feeling of jet-lag, but acquired through late nights during the school holidays (or should that be early mornings?) spent X-Boxing and other gaming related activities. This condition is prevalent among 15 year old boys.

Symptoms: Finding it extremely difficult to adjust back to school week bed times again. Falling asleep in the middle of maths class. Strong urges to play Halo.

Treatment: Just like jet-lag, school holiday-lag is best cured with time. It's best not to succumb to your urges and nap.

The Indie Check List

You know you're Indie* when:
  • You do the top button up of your flanny shirt.
  • You ride a fixie bike.
  • You live in Newtown.
  • You read Penguin Classic books.
  • You have a vast collection of old school band t-shirts (remember what Indie used to be all about? Music!)
  • You sport a mohawk, under cut, pony tail or some other trendy do.
  • You are an aspiring artist of some description, or work in new media.
  • You wear black rimmed glasses (regardless of the fact you don't even have a prescription).
  • You have more skinny leg jeans than your girlfriend.
  • You have more cardigans than your Nan.
  • You only attend festivals like Laneway, Splendour or Falls, and even they are still too mainstream. Intimate gigs are more preferable. Underground synth music is also a fave. 
  • You know things are cool weeks before they become popular.
  • Words like dope, rad, killer and dude punctuate your sentences.
  • You have an SLR camera and dabble in photography. 
  • And the final way to complete the ruse? Maybe actually have some music knowledge. Or look like you do. Reading street press mags like The Brag, Drum Media or spending a bit of skrilla on Rolling Stone should do the job.
* Anyone can fake being Indie, the true species are so cool, they don't even know it.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

And Suddenly I'm an Old Lady...

I'm not quite sure when I went from being a 22 year old, to an 82 year old, but suddenly my behaviour is similar to that of an old lady.

Week night bed times are strictly 9.30pm, I need a solid 8 hours + to be able to function. I refuse to do mid-week activities not because I'm anti-social, but because I'll be a zombie at work the next day. When the weekend rolls around, my idea of fun is a hot date with my couch, in my comfiest pyjamas, watching crappy TV. One activity per weekend is preferable (more favoured on Friday night, as having a big one on Saturday means you waste all of Sunday being hung over, and bang! Before you know it, it's Monday again) and the genuine highlight of my week is my sleep in.

I blame full-time work. Oh, and maybe it's something to do with not doing any much exercise. Anyone know a of a good way to get more energy that doesn't in involve exercise or drugs? Yeah... didn't think so... Here's to many more dates with Mr Couch.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Clever Girl

Check out my very clever friend, Inga's super cute blog - Gargoyle Designs. It's tres pretty. She is going to be one mean-arse graphic designer. Below is an excerpt from my absolute favourite work of hers. I can definitely see her stuff in the likes of Frankie mag.

Dolce & Gabbana, Fendi and that Donna Karan

To quote the Black Eyed Peas (above), it seems having shit, makes some people feel The Shit. I'm all for the sneaky indulgence every now and then. Work hard, play hard - you have to reward yourself. Hell, my friends (Ju Ju and Braz) even came up with a brilliant saying that Monday to Friday is career focused, and when the weekend comes around we live semi-hedonistic lives (it can't be fully blown hedonism because we care too much about our future).

What I don't understand, are the silly twats prancing about with all their bling-bling. Like yo, check out my *insert fancy pants brand* bag/ wallet/ watch/ shoes etc. Bravo if you can genuinely afford these luxury items. But I am actually embarrassed for people who are thousands of dollars in debt on the 'fantastic-plastic' purely so they can have materialistic things. That Louis Vuitton bag isn't going to help you pay off your maxed out credit card but that Gucci trench will keep you warm at night when you're sleeping outside, with no roof over your head. Having a designer handbag, that equals three weeks of your salary, that you bought on your credit card, is nothing to be proud of.

Australia leads the world in personal debt and it's not going to change when so many twenty-somethings rely on their credit cards and spend without thinking. The thought of my HECS debt is enough to freak me out and I just couldn't spend money that doesn't actually exist, and then some. Yes, that cheeky guy called interest can make the most simple of credit card purchases extremely expensive.

Yes I do have a credit card, which I got purely for travelling and online purchases. But my motto has always been to pay it back immediately. Yes, I've been naughty and taken him shopping a few times but have felt so unbelievably guilty that he now is stashed in my drawers for important purchases only.

I would much rather spend my money on experiences. In fact, the majority of my income has gone towards travelling. Maybe I don't have impressive bling-bling, but I sure do have impressive memories and am a happier person because of it.

These days, the bank hands credit cards out like candy. Do you have one? And if so, what's your relationship like with it? Love/hate? Do you use it for practical purposes only? Does the thought of debt stress you out or do you spend without thinking?

This is Preachy McGee, singing off.

Money can't buy taste, and neither can credit cards.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

A Treat for your Ears, Aussie Edition

  • Aston Shuffle, Your Love: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT listen to this song if you're trying to have a quiet weekend. It will make you want to go out immediately.

Social Phobias

Are there certain things that make you nervous? Maybe it's public speaking? Or making small talk. My top 3 social phobias are -

1. Phone calls with potential suitors: I would rather good text from a guy than have a phone convo with him. I am a complete over analyser and worry about awkward silences and cutting into each other when we both start speaking. It's a stupid fear that I'm working on.

2. Dinner Dates: It's nothing to do with body image, self-esteem or eating. I went to Roseville, and as the old, done to death adage goes, "Roseville Girls love their food" (this joke always made me cringe, don't most people love their food? It's not just exclusive to our school.) It's because eating is such a high risk activity. So much can go wrong and there are so many awkward manoeuvres. Food can get stuck in teeth, or spill on clothes and you can't help but feel constantly surveyed. It's like a job interview on how well mannered you are. There are certain dinner date foods that you just shouldn't bother with. Sushi, burritos and anything that requires a bib are big red flags. Play it safe with pizza and pasta (penne is preferable, less splash back and fiddling around as opposed to spaghetti tendrils. You can pierce it in one swift jab.)

3. Greetings hello/ goodbye: I seriously get so stressed out about saying hello / goodbye to people (obviously bar people I know extremely well) but for newbies, God you can get into some embarrassing situations. There's always the big dilemma - kiss on the cheek? Hug? Both? Shake hands? And then you can get caught in that awful kiss/ hug limbo. I've seen some shockers - dude goes in for the hug, chick goes in for the kiss. Cue the awkward little shimmy back and for and the nervous giggles. Ugh... Why can't we have an international rule - for all new acquaintances a simple kiss on the cheek will suffice.

What things make you jittery? Or am I just a big, fat weirdo?

The infamous awkward hug

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


Not only do we have Lamebook, but we now have Stalkbook. I'm really not a fan of this whole Facebook Places thing. It's an information overload of mundane crap. Do we really need to broadcast our every move?

For those of you not familiar with the concept, it's a take on the iPhone application - Four Square. Where you share live posts of your exact whereabouts. I find it too voyeuristic, self-indulgent and most importantly dangerous. Once you post your location, Facebook is clever enough to publish a map with the exact destination. I think it's an excuse for people to show-off all the 'trendy' places they hang out at. People are also dumb enough to publish their home and work addresses online.

This is every stalkers dream come true!

Jerk Watch 2010

It's been a long time since I've encountered any momentous jerks worthy of a rant. Which is good. But sadly, the jerk drought has been broken. I feel like I should rename this post INSENSITIVE, UN-FUNNY, DICK-HEAD Watch 2010.

I debated whether or not I should even write about this because it is so upsetting, but I think it's important to show how stupid some, un-named, chest shaving people can be.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Last year there was a Facebook campaign where you make your status the colour of the bra you were wearing at that very moment. This year's game is about where you like to put your handbag when you get home. For example, "I like it on the sofa", "I like it on the kitchen counter", "I like it on the dresser". It's a quirky, cheeky online campaign that generates positive PR and increases awareness. It was a big success last year and even received media coverage.

An un-named acquaintance thought it would be hilarious to update his status to - "No one cares about breast cancer awareness and titty killing diseases!"

How can anyone in their right mind think this is ok? What a fucking sick bastard. I'm not sure if anyone in his family has been affected by breast cancer, but I'm sure if a loved one had experienced it, he definitely would think twice about writing such an ignorant post. It's infuriating.

People honestly don't think sometimes. All for the glory of a 'funny' joke, or status update. I recently got into a fight with a washed-up, thirty something year old Pommy who ran our hostel in Ios. He had no direction in life, wore fluro pink and green clothes, had dyed-blonde spikes with a Donatella Versace tan (enough said). He strutted around the hostel thinking he was God's gift and tried to impress travellers by telling his pitiful, rehearsed jokes.

One of which was -

Q: What do four out of five people enjoy?
A: Gang rape.

I heard him recycle this joke several times, to different people. I finally exploded.

ME: You shouldn't tell jokes like that. It's awful.

HIM: Why? You Aussies are so uptight.

ME: I'm not uptight, It's just not funny. You never know , you might tell that joke to someone whose life has been affected by rape. Would you be telling that joke if your mother or sister had experienced a trauma like that?

HIM: ........ silence ...... Then I 'spose you don't want to hear any of my domestic violence jokes?

I stormed off in a ball of rage. The guy was an absolute douche and had obviously fried too many brain cells in the sun to understand and I think Mr Facebook has shaved off too many chest hairs to have a firm grasp of reality.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

That Warm, Fuzzy Feeling

To the group of kids busking outside the Strand Arcade singing Favourite Things, from The Sound of Music - you made my day. Even though there was noisy construction work going on, you preserved and sung your little hearts out. I almost cried it was so cute. Nice to see the youth away from the Interweb and doing something productive with their school holidays. Bless.

If you go down to the woods today...

You'll see a bunch of twenty-somethings reliving their childhood years - teddy bears and all.

My friends and I thought it would be fun to honour our childhood days and have a boozy Sunday picnic. You drunk beer bottles as a baby, right? It was our first, inaugural Teddy Bear's picnic. Although, people didn't seem too keen on the whole BYO teddy bear angle. Not to worry, because I bought a whole bags o'bears for everyone.

We had it in Swains Garden, which is the hidden of gem of Killara. It was the backdrop to my childhood and I'm pretty sure it's an enchanted garden where fairies and elves live. It's simply stunning and tucked away in the middle of suburbia.

If you're looking to take that special someone on a romantic date, or if you feel like catching tadpoles, or even want to have your own teddy bear's picnic - it's the place to go because you're never too old to be silly.

Time to Hang up the Festival Booties?

In keeping with tradition, I'll be giving you guys a little run-down of the epic day that was Parklife, 2010. What better way to start than with the fashion do's and don'ts.

- Do cover up Southern Cross tattoos.
- Do bring a collection of sunglasses to mix and match through out the day (thanks Inga!)
- Do find a flanny on the ground and donate it to your shirtless friend. Who knew floordrobe shirts could be so smoking.
- Do wear Globes /Etnies if you want to ruin your outfit.
- Do bring an octopus beanie, not only will it keep your head warm but will provide great LOLs when the stray beanie hairs get stuck in Justin's real beard (thanks again Inga!)

- Army print anything is a big no-no.
- Don't wear minuscule short shorts, leaving little to the imagination. The camel toe count was off the richter, come on ladies.
- When it's torrential rain, shirts should stay on. Unless your name is Brad Joseph.
- Don't wear Sass and Bide. It's blatantly obvious what brand it is and is way too expensive to be trashed.
- Don't bring tacky Guess bags in leopard print with a heinous fur trim.

Meeting up with people at a festival can be a logistical nightmare. Reception dies. There are thousands of people. You just have to leave it up to the Fate Gods and hope your paths cross. Luckily they shone down on us and Inga and I bumped into our Euro BFF - Brad Joseph, aka Gisele Bundchen in male form, aka the funnest person in the world. We met in Mykonos and it was love at first split leap for Brad and I. It's fair to say that Brad is my party soul-mate and hanging out with him was definitely the cherry on top of an amazing day. And who wouldn't want party with an international run-way model?

Missy Elliot was terrible. She would get into a song and then suddenly stop. It was a big fat tease, you let me down Missy but that's ok because I never liked you anyway. I never knew how amazing Soul Wax were, but I'm definitely a fan after seeing them live. The highlight of the day, without a doubt were Bag Raiders. Their new stuff is gold, they easily could have been one hit wonders with Shooting Stars, but have proved everyone wrong.

I literally have a sore tummy from laughing so much. Parklife has left me very happy-go-lucky (we had an extremely serious conversation about this saying, and all agreed that no one says it enough so we're bringing it back). Although, I definitely think it's best to finish on a high note and perhaps it's time to hang up my festival booties? I don't want to be one of those seedy adults who is still going to festivals when they're 30. I could be eating my words though, there's always Splendour.Or even Glastonbury or Coachella. Maybe it's just time to see what the rest of the world has to offer.

Ps. Justin - where were you? I was waiting for you at Centre Point Tower!

Gisele and I limber up for our split leaps.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Sup, feline?

Introducing Max, the snuggliest puddy cat ever...

I Check Out Girls All the Time....

I realised my penchant for lady-gazing the other day, when I almost pulled my neck from quickly turning to check out a very stylish woman. I'm not looking at them because I fancy them. Well I do to some degree - I fancy what they're wearing. I'm blown-away by their fashion, their style, their swagger.

It's a secret language for us women, we dress to impress each other. Sorry to burst your bubble boys, but most of the time I compile a crazy, tricky outfit it's not for the opposite sex. Women communicate and entertain one another through fashion. I love being wow-ed by my friend's or colleague's cool outfits and I love trying to wow them right back (granted, when I can be bothered).

So thank you ladies for providing me with endless entertainment and inspiration. I really mean it. Here's hoping I don't get whiplash.
SJP certainly wasn't dressing for the fellas in this little number.
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