Europe is the mecca for so many wonderful things, unfortunately music is not one of them. They really need to sort their shit out because we have bee stalked by the same, horrendous songs from start to finish. I swear if I hear We No Speak Americano one more time I will punch someone. So here is our European mix-tape, these songs have literally played on a continuous loop:
- Memories, David Guetta and Kid Cudi: On average, this song comes on at least 3 times per night. To manage the pain we've taken to singing the chorus in a creepy Cyrpiatic accent. The voice derives from a hilarious chap, who was from Cyrpus. We met him in Mykonos and he sung the chorus in his broken english and with a lisp. It's a shit song, but it's given us the 'besssssht memorrriesssh.'
- Sexy Bitch, Akon and David Guetta: Damn who's a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch? These creative lyrics have punctuated our many adventures.
- Winner, David Guetta and Kelly Rowland: Mr Guetta, you really have a monopoly going on the Eurotrash scene right now! You seriously can't escape hearing your drivel.
And the other tunes we've learned to just laugh and dance along to, even though it's against everything we believe in are: Riverside, Bad Romance and Miami. Oh the shame. They may not be our cup of tea, but they'll always be our special Europe songs.