Sunday, May 30, 2010

Brain Cell Destroying Teeve

Want to lose some brain cells? Then I'd suggest these terribly shit, but deliciously great reality TV shows. It's junk food for your brain.

Pretty Wild: Wow, this horrendous but addictive. Pretty Wild follows three spoilt brat, sisters living in LA. Think Lindsay Lohan on crack, multiplied by three. Their mother is a former lingerie model and manages the girls' aspiring modelling careers. Like all Hollywood dramas, of course there is a run in with the law. The show documents the middle sister, Alexis's court case. She was arrested for being involved with a group that broke into the homes of celebrities. It's tears, tits and tanties galore.

Toddlers and Tiaras: I still can't believe this show exists. I watched it with my little brother and he had to walk out of the room because he was so disgusted. He is 14. It's pretty much crazy stage mums, saying they aren't crazy stage mums while spray tanning their four year old daughters, dressing them up as mini-hookers and making them perform in beauty pageants.

Kendra: This is my favourite show on Channel E! Kendra is a spin-off from the hugely successful Girls of the Playboy Mansion. My sister and I love it. The theme song is particularly hilarious. And even though Kendra is painfully bogan and dumb, there is something so loveable about her. Her hubby Hank is a genuinely good guy and a massive improvement from her ex, Hugh Hefner. The show follows Kendra and Hank playing happy families with their new bub, Hank Junior.

Millionaire Matchmaker: Patti Stranger is a third generation matchmaker who runs The Millionaires Club, a dating service that aims to match millionaires with their potential wives, aka Gold Diggers. It truly is car crash TV. If you don't follow Patti's rules there's sure to be trouble. She's a dating guru and without her feisty rants the show would be nothing.

If you're feeling noticeably dumber after all this gorging then I'd suggest an immediate detox, with the help of the following shows. 

Antiques Roadshow: These tweed clad, silver foxes sure know their shit. There's something so sexy about their endless knowledge of artifacts. It's the perfect show to watch with your Grandma. Who knew antiques could be so enjoyable?

Media Watch: Oh Jonathan Homes, you cheeky devil you. I reckon this is one of the best shows on telly. It's short, sharp and well researched and the only program that investigates and challenges the Australian media and exposes the truth.

Australian Story: More often than not, this show will have me in tears. There is no narration, rather the stories are told by family and friends. Fascinating documentaries about famous and unknown Aussies.

- Anything on the History Chanel, Bio, Nat Geo and Animal Planet is sure to give you back some intelligence.

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