Sometimes I wish I was a dude. Not because I have any gender confusion issues, but because it would be so sweet to roll out of bed, chuck on a suit, not look in the mirror and walk out the door.
Unfortunately being a lady, you can't get away with that. We have to pluck, scrub, blow dry, exfoliate, jhoozh, etc etc etc. The list is endless.
But some days, I honestly don't give a fuck about what I look like. Some days I am just too tried to try and coordinate a cute outfit, with straight hair and nice makeup. Which always backfires when you get to work and are surrounded by beautiful women who could be mistaken for models and you look like a homeless, 14 year old ghost.
Today I hit the snooze button about 5 times before rolling out of bed. My hair looked like I'd been electrocuted so I quickly jumped in the shower. I didn't have time to blow dry it and threw it up in an emergency bun. I was worried that once it dried it would be all fluffy and my fringe would poke up, so I decided to hair spray it.
Do you know what I learnt today? NEVER PUT HAIR SPRAY IN WET HAIR. The water and hairspray will form a white, flaky paste once your hair has dried. This paste looks a lot like home made glue that you used to make when you were a kid with flower and water. This paste could also be mistaken for leave in head lice treatment, or better still, actual head lice. Yep, it wasn't until 10.30am when I was washing my hands in the loo and caught a glimpse of my tired arse face in the mirror that I realised what my hair looked like. I almost died. Luckily I carry an emergency comb and was able to brush out the flakes.
I just hope no one thought I had head lice. God it would be good to be guy.