Welcome to my new post "Jerk Watch" where I chronicle all the male mishaps I'll be having this year.
I'd like to kick off this session with a very entertaining incident. You may remember my open letter to the male race where I recalled meeting a pretty young chap who was quite an eager beaver, but it turned out he had a girlfriend (which FACEBOOK, not him, told me). Well, Mr Invisible Girlfriend has been messaging me on the odd Friday / Saturday night seeing if I'm out and about (please note; I would never meet up with him and do not condone cheating I have only kissed him once and HE SAID HE WAS SINGLE AND INTERESTED IN ME. His words, not mine). Mr Invisible Girlfriend also Facebooked me last night trying to squeeze some information out of me. I'd had enough, so I decided to get a little creative with my response.
HIM: Miss Bella Bella You going Phoenix tonight? I'm going tomorrrrrrow. Hope u have fun let me know tomoz what time they and miami horrors set start that would be amazing xx
ME: Miami horror is on at sleeze-o-clock and Phoenix is on at don't you have a girlfriend?
Unfortunately he wasn't in the mood to be creative back.
HIM: I was just asking a question fuck.
If anyone out there is thinking 'give the guy a break, how do you know he is in a serious relationship?' Well, he posted a photo OF HIS MODEL GIRLFRIEND on Facebook in a handbag ad and wrote 'my wife'. Also, for anyone thinking 'how do you know it's his girlfriend in that ad and not some random?' Well, there are plenty of photos of this beautiful girl and him on his page.
I want to know why you'd bother with a midget when you have a leggy model to marry?