Sometimes, karma can be a bitch. Sometimes, the Karma Chameleon can be such a nasty whore you want to grab her scaly neck and strangle her to death.
But sometimes, karma can be your best friend. Sometimes, you want to take karma out on a lovely dinner date just to say thanks.
Last weekend I finally decided to take the plunge and go brunette. The old cliche is that drastically changing your hair is inextricably linked with the demise of a relationship. Changing your hair means you're a new woman, a new you, a fresh start. Bla bla, wank wank. Cue all that self-empowering bullshit. For me, I'm just sick of constant routes, boring old blonde and paying $250 every time I go to the hairdressers. I'm saving my precious pennies for my impending trip to Europe it's time to get some serious save-orexia (the saving disease) going on. As I'm walking out of the hairdressers with a spring in my step, excited by my new cost-effective colour, who is the first person I see?
The ex boyfriend.
I'm not kidding, you can't make this stuff up. We pretty much live in the same suburb and haven't crossed paths in almost a year and of all the times we bump into one another it's now! I always envisioned The Inevitable Bump-In would happen when I was no doubt running to Coles in my jammies, looking shit-house with no make-up on.
But the most bizarre thing? He apparently didn't recognise me. He didn't even speak.
ME: Hi guys how are you?
HIS FRIEND: (Awkwardly) Hi, good thanks and you?
ME: Pretty good thanks....
MASSIVE AWKWARD SILENCE ENSUES, I am wondering why he can't even string a sentence together and say hello....
ME: Well, I'll let you get back to your little coffee.
A few days later he texts me explaining he didn't mean to be rude but he literally didn't recognise me and he had to ask his friend who that girl was. I'm sorry, it's the girl you had a relationship with for two years, remember her? I'm not convinced. How come his friend could recognise me but he didn't? He also added in the text I should have 'gone brunette ages ago.' Gotta love a backhanded compliment.
Anyway, it looks like I'll be taking the Karma Chameleon out this weekend to say thanks. I hope she likes Thai food.