Monday, November 30, 2009

Damn You Interwebs, You're Sucking Away My Soul!

As I waste my life flicking through yet another random's Facebook photo album (it's a dirty habit I know many of us share) I stumble across this photo.... It was taken at Stereosonic, the first festival to try out the controversial "No Shirts Off Policy". When I heard about it I initially thought awesome, how funny, take that exhibitionists and steroid junkies! But then really, what does it achieve? Ed Coper from Getup! summed it up perfectly on Hack's The Shake Up, "A dickhead at a festival is a dickhead at a festival. Shirt on, or shirt off."

Here we have two blokes happy to show case their bulging biceps. I'm sure they worked extra hard at the gym in the lead up to the festival and were devastated about the new rule. This is just one of many photos in which they make no effort to hide their flexing. I wish I could show you the expressions on their faces. Let's just say it's very clear they are besotted with their arms and in the comments the dudes even go so far as to commend one another on their brilliant muscles.

A few months ago this whole muscle madness shat me so much I tweeted "I'm so sick of shameless, shirtless flexing in profile pictures. Give me brains over body any day!"

Now look, of course I'm not innocent either. I'll be the first to admit I'm a poser (a confession I'm not proud of, why can't it be something more like "I'm addicted to giving all my income to charity." Shame on me). As the old
adage goes 'it takes one to know one' so I am allowed to poke fun at the mystery Bicep Boys. Let's face it, we've all been guilty of the sneaky self-take, the cheeky snake mouth pout, the cropping out of your friend to make it a solo-shot profile picture, the propped arm on the hip to make it look skinnier and secretly deleting a photo from a friend's camera when we think we look shit.


I blame the popularity of the digital camera and the medium of Facebook to promote our pics for making us so vain and posey. It's a bit sickening when you stop and think about it. And why do we need 678 photos of ourselves on Facebook anyway? Oh, whoops! That's right, so creeps like me can look through them when we're bored.

Gone are the candid moments of true spontaneity that were once captured in the heat of the moment with the good old disposable. Now it seems all we do is monotonously pose and pose and pose until we are happy with what we look like.

I'd really love to kick all these filthy habits the Interweb has inflicted upon me. I know there are rehab clinics in China for gaming addicted kids. I think it’s about time they set one up for vain twats like myself and The Bicep Boys.

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